Silly Little Hetalia Fanfiction
by tomaturtles
Summary: As you have probably figured out from the title, this is a silly little Hetalia fanfiction. That means no angst, no drama, no romance. Just silliness. These 'silly little' stories (as it will be a series of drabbles, possibly connected to each other) come from the headcanons at littleaphheadcanons.. So, I hope you enjoy the read! T for language only.
1. The Adventures of 'Bruce'

**Hello! **

**If you have read the description, which I assume you have, you will have figured out that all of the ideas are from this **

**None of them are mine fully (but the writing is), except for the ones I have submitted, which I will probably note. Anyways, the headcanon each one will be based on will be noted at the ends of the chapters, however I suggest you don't read them to spoil yourselves, but suit yourself. They will probably be in order to keep me organised.**

**Also, many of these will be short, but there are a lot of these to get through. 500 words will (hopefully) be an average. **

**Okay, none of the intros or anything will (hopefully) be this long anymore. All notes will be at the bottom of a chapter from now on!**

**I hope you enjoy and sorry for any bad writing that I will do!**

* * *

England was seated at his desk, working through a rather large pile of paperwork. He had been working on this all night, and frankly he just wanted to put his head down and sleep. But no, he had to work through all this. Damn, being a nation sometimes sucks. But luckily, all of this paperwork also came with immorality to make up with it.

The sun was rising through the window, as he had been up all night. It was about six am, and the British nation just wanted to take a break. Luckily for him, the larger pile of paperwork was the 'done' pile, and the 'to do' pile was nearing an end.

Suddenly, he heard a noise that made him jump a little. It sounded like it was someone yelling from upstairs. Shaking his head, he decided it was too early and he was just sleep deprived.

After a minute or so, he heard it again, proving him wrong. It was definitely that, no doubt. Usually six am was a little early though, wasn't it?

Sighing, he decided to ignore it and go back to work.

Three minutes. It happened again, louder again.

Four minutes. This time it was further away, like they had gone to check the kitchen or something.

And, five minutes after that and a few more faint ones, from right outside the door of the study.

The door swung open after the footsteps, reavealing a small brunette child standing there, in his boxer shorts, smiling widely. Opening his mouth, the kid yelled "I AMMMM BRUUUUUCEEEEE!"

Australia had woken up.

* * *

After rushing the small boy off to the kitchen, England decided he would make toast this morning for breakfast before going to take a nap (he figured he deserved it).

After all, he couldn't 'ruin' toast (although his cooking was perfectly fine and it was just everyone being so fussy!)

Putting the two pieces he had made on a plate in front of the younger nation, he frowned when Australia turned his nose up at it. "No!"

"Why not? It's just toast!" England pointed out, getting frustrated already. Not this argument again.

"It's not 'just' toast, it's yucky toast! Give me the good toast, that's the one I want"

"You are being unreasonable, that toast is perfectly fine and you know it! Just be quiet and eat it!"

He turned away to put the bread, butter, knife and marmite away, and when he turned back to check that Australia was eating his breakfast and why he was being unusually quiet, the blonde felt toast hit his face, followed by the scream "I WANT VEGEMITE"

It was going to take a while to get the marmite out of his eyebrows.

* * *

** post/30374890769/all-of-the-male-nations-have-superhero-boxers **

_'All of the male nations have superhero boxers. Australia has Batman so that whenever he walks around with his pants off he can say "HELLO, MY NAME IS BRUUUCE"'_

**and post/30583824078/england-isnt-that-bad-a-cook-he-just-puts**

_England isn't that bad a cook. He just puts marmite in EVERYTHING._


	2. Arthur Holmes and the Gay Subtext

Romano was yelling, once again. And at Spain, too. Neither of them were quite sure why, but it was happening.

"YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING BASTART OH MY GOD-"

I would type up all the text, but that would take a shit ass long time. Seriously, that guy can insult!

So, he continues yelling things, all variations of the words 'fuck', 'shit', 'bastard', 'idiot', and many more profanities and insults frequenting his yells.

Eventually, Spain managed to get a word in. "Uh, Romano? Why exactly are you yelling?"

Pausing, Romano thought about it. He didn't really have much of a reason, did he? Shrugging, he frowns and crossed his arms, muttering something along the lines of 'I just wanted to yell at you…'

And, in that moment, England popped up in between the two and whispered "Gay…", for he is the gay under text detective.

* * *

**Sorry this is so short, but I prefer to keep them on their own if I can't group them with others!**

**Thank god for the tags...**

**Anyways, /post/30596006899/arthur-can-find-gay-subtext-in-everything-hes**

_'Arthur can find gay subtext in everything._

_He's like, the Sherlock of gay subtext.'_

**Also, sorry for jamming my ship in there. It's just I needed to choose a popular ship among the fans (as to make sure no one gets angry or anything) that wasn't USUK (a. I really can't write that ship very well, sorry! and b. Arthur is the detective.) So, I went with Spamano which is another popular one. I hope you all understand! You can't write gay subtext without there being a ship. I think.  
**


	3. Comparing Sizes

The Nordics were all in the room that they often meet in, carrying rulers and doing the usual that they did, once a year.

First up, Iceland stepped out.

Measuring the ruler up, Denmark called out "Two and a half centimeters (1 inch) Dude, don't feel bad, it's not our fault ours are longer!"

Iceland simply glared at him, before Norway walked out next, and once again Denmark was the one with the ruler. "Oh, Iceland is smaller! 4 centimeters and a bit! (1.7 inches)

Norway sat back down as Sweden stood up and walked out to be measured. "Same as Iceland, but a liiiiiiiiiiiittle longer! Too bad, dude!"

Turning his back on Sweden's glare, Denmark used the ruler on himself. "Yes! Five centimetres (two inches)! I've got the longest so far! Suck it!" He laughed, grinning before turning to Finland, who was standing and smiling behind him.

"It's my turn now, Denmark~" He said, so Denmark measured the ruler up, making a small choking noise when he saw the results.

"S-Seven and a half centimetres!? (Three inches) Dude, not fair!" Throwing down the ruler, Norway smirked at Denmark's reaction, picking the ruler up and putting it to the side on the table.

No shave November had come to an end, and as usual, Finland had the longest beard.

* * *

**Okay, I saw this one and couldn't resist doing it now and making it this.**

**Eheh.**

**/post/35988276399/all-of-the-nordics-do-no-shave-november-finland**

_'All of the Nordics do No Shave November. Finland always grows the most facial hair, which he never really shaves off in December_

_Hence the idea that Santa has a long pale beard'_


	4. Who Dares Enter The Kitchen?

Denmark stood happily in the kitchen, making breakfast for the Nordics who all had planned to spend the entire day together, and that say had started with the Dane running to the kitchen and yelling "I'LL MAKE THE FOOD ALL DAY, YES? YES!"

Now, he was happily humming in the kitchen, making them eggs, bacon and toast because why the fuck not, really. He was still in his pajamas from the rush of getting to the kitchen to make sure no one else managed to place a toe into it first, and he had tied a bright pink apron with multi coloured polka dots around him, because it was his favourite apron.

As he put four pieces of toast in the toaster (they have one of those toasters that has four toasting holes instead of two because with five people you're going to need that many.), Finland appeared at the kitchen door.

"Hey, Tanska, would you mind-"

Turning around, Denmark looked as if something disgusting had just entered the doorway, making Finland take a step back and open his mouth to ask what was wrong.

But, he couldn't, because Denmark had started barking at him and running towards him, making Finland run away, very confused and scared. Denmark slammed the door shut behind the other Nordic, growling "And stay out!"

Turning back towards the kitchen, Denmark smiled (normally, mind you) and went back to cooking, checking on the bacon that was frying in the pan.

Now, not too long afterwards, Sweden approached the kitchen door (from which a lovely breakfasty scent was now coming out of) and opened it, frowning.

"Why was Finland so upset when coming back here?" he asked, glaring at the blonde. He had to have done something bad to have made the other Nordic look so surprised and scared while returning from the kitchen.

Denmark turned around, pan and plate in hand, and slowly put them down on the kitchen table, all the while looking at Sweden as if that disgusting thing from before had vomited all over him and then burped afterwards, then taking away all the alcohol they had stored there and dissolving Denmark.

Now, that is what I call a fucking ab-so-lutely disgusted look (so disgusted absolutely needed hyphens.)

And then, he barked again, chasing Sweden out the door. Of course, Sweden did not run away like Finland had, but simply closed the door. Once that had happened, Denmark howled at the door, then going back to his cooking and finishing the breakfast for that day.

* * *

**I don't know if I can work in all the headcanons, as some are so simple and vague that they may need another to go with them, so I will work it out soon!**

**/post/30792367840/denmark-is-the-best-cook-of-the-nordics-finland**

_Denmark is the best cook of the Nordics. Finland and Iceland make very weird dishes, Norway can make simple meals but panics in the face of herbs and spices, Sweden can cook but not without attracting the police._

_…Denmark is very protective of the kitchen._


	5. A Canadian Finds His Love Of Pancakes

"Papa? Guess what!" A little Canadian emerged from the kitchen, with an apron on covered head to toe in flour, making the French man he was speaking to chuckle before replying.

"Oui Mathieu? What is it?"

"I made you a surprise! It's in the kitchen!" Running forward, he grabbed the older nation's hand, pulling him up off the couch and leading him towards the kitchen door, so that he could show off his marvelous creation to his father figure.

Walking in and looking around, Canada laughed when France obviously looked right past it. "No, papa! Those ones! Those ones!" Pointing towards the table, there sat a plate with five pancakes on it. They were perfectly circular and had lots (and I mean _lots_) of maple syrup drizzled over them, as if the boy had just grabbed something random from the cupboard and dumped it all on top of his meal. After all, France had never seen maple syrup on pancakes before.

"Congratulations! They look delicious, I tell you!" The blonde ruffled the younger nations hair, making the smaller one beam up at him. It felt so nice to be the most important one in the room! _Wait… but what would make me even more cool to papa would be…_

"Go ahead! Eat them!" Canada urged, grabbing cutlery off the edge of the table and handing them to France.

"Um…. I…." The other nation froze after edging away from the enthusiastic boy, biting his lip. How was he supposed to say this?

"…? Is there a problem?"

"… Um, you see Mathieu, … I only eat my own food."

The younger nation looked disappointed, as if someone had just stomped all over a sandcastle he had spent ages making and then sat on it, destroying it forever. "So… You don't want my pancakes?"

"Non, non! I just… Don't want to eat them" And with that, the French nation dashed out of the room, not being able to look at the disappointed face on the other again.

**Sorry for the long wait, I had a lot of homework at school ^^ This one is **

**/post/30951063256/france-eats-only-food-he-cooked-himself**

_'France eats only food he cooked himself.'_

**Anyways, thanks for the reviews/follows/favourites! I'm having so much fun writing this and I hope you like reading it too!**


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